Sorry, not sorry

At least once a week I think “I haven’t written anything on the blog in awhile” but then, like the ADHD kids I work with, that thought is gone and I’ve moved on to 1 million other things on my to-do list. And honestly, I should be sleeping right now (Or working, yes, working would be productive). I was trying to sleep, but my mind wouldn’t let me. So instead of writing this blog in my head I got up to do something about it. I’ve debated many times about writing this and I’m just going to do it while I know it’s not an uplifting topic.

This blog, folks, is my Public Service Announcement about smoking. I’ve been thinking about this for almost a year now. And now that the year anniversary is approaching, things are getting tough. It was October when I finally got a clue. When I stepped out of my “new working mommy with a crazy commute” of a life and saw that something was very wrong. I knew when I caught her laying down instead of playing with the grandkids. I knew when she didn’t eat all her enchiladas. I knew when she turned me down for a 2^nd beer at dinner. I just knew. We found out the day after my birthday. And here we are again… approaching October. My birth month, that I always make way too big of a deal out of. And here it will be every October.

And as the title says… sorry, not sorry…. I honestly don’t care if I hurt someone’s feelings with this blog because it could save your life.

STOP SMOKING NOW! I mean seriously! Even if you’re an occasional smoker… STOP! (I’m sorry if you’re a close friend or family member and this hurts your feelings…. but get a clue). If you had seen what I have seen you wouldn’t pick up another cigarette ever again. I’m waiting for the day when I lose it at the grocery store when someone in front of me is buying cigarettes. Right now, in my head I say “Don’t you know, lung cancer is a really horrible way to die.” But if I’m caught at the wrong moment, on the wrong day, I could see it coming out of my mouth.

I’m certain you think I’m crazy at this point. My husband says all women are crazy, so does this really make me special?? But actually, overall, I think I’ve held it together decently well. At least once a day, usually more, I say to myself “this just sucks” and “it’s not fair.” But I have never once blamed God or questioned my faith. My mom was a good person. A great mom. And an even better grandmother. And having known her and being loved by her was a blessing. But God didn’t do this to her… cigarettes did. Now I can’t explain how my great-grandmother smoked and drank all her life and lived to be 90 something. That just brings me back to “It’s not fair.” And furthermore on the “it’s not fair” spectrum of life…. here I am, back in my home town, working at my dream job, living in my parents house, with my brother living 3 blocks away! Talk about blessings. And it’s not fair that I get all of those things… because of her…. And without her.

So stop smoking! And then go get a body scan! And even if you have stopped smoking (because she had also) go get a scan! So you have a fighting chance if something is there. And for heaven’s sake, go to the doctor if something hurts.

Everyone take a DEEP BREATH now that I’ve depressed you all! Say a prayer and thank the Lord for your family.

I have a much, much funnier blog that’s been going through my mind entitled “world’s okayest mom” (and yes I know that’s not original). I’ll get to that one and some comic relief (after this hate-fest of a blog) hopefully very soon. 

Turkey Trot Planning Begins!

We got together with some wonderful family and friends tonight to kick this thing off. Really, I was just overwhelmed trying to organize this by myself and meeting with others who will keep me accountable kick started the process of actually DOING… not just mental planning. I thought I’d provide a summary of our discussion in case anyone wants to volunteer for anything or has any other suggestions.

·        The race will start and end at Hardt Reality. Packet pick up will also be there the night before. Specific times TBD. Shout out to Hardt Reality for being our headquarters! Everyone go buy a house from them!

·        We will need volunteers on the day of packet pick up and on the day of the race. As the event comes closer I will send out more information about that.

·        We will have sponsors for the start and finish line as well as mile sponsors. Start/ finish line will be $100 and the other markers will be $50. I will make a flyer to email/ give out to business or individuals that might want to donate.

·        We want to have really great “swag bags” for this event. They will include a shirt, race number, and other donated items. For instance, Chopin Vodka is donating chap sticks. Donations of items such as small bottles of water, granola bars, coupons to local businesses etc. would be appreciated. We are also open to ideas for other items. Cash donations may be used to buy items. Sandra Tondre, Morgan Tondre, and Joann Van Winkle are heading up this venture.  

·        T-shirt design will be similar to years past with the Alsatian house but with some additional reference to mom. And it was decided this year the shirts will be orange to honor her. Call it “burnt orange” “panther orange” or “thanksgiving orange”… whatever you need to call it to be able to wear it, but nothing would have pleased mom more than a sea of orange in her honor.  Shirt design will be by my stellar sister-in-law, the amazing Kimber Robinson.

·        A bank account needs to be opened. Um, I’ll do that.

·        The amount of money for the scholarship will be dependent on how much we raise this year. We have a goal of $1000 but hope to exceed it. I personally hope to exceed it by a lot but who knows since this is the first year.

·        The scholarship will be open to all seniors that live in Medina county. Preferably those that are going to college to pursue a career in the medical field.

·        We will meet again at the end of August to check in on how everything is progressing. More info to come on that.

So loyal blog reader, I’m sure you’re thinking “how can I help?” The possibilities are endless!

·        Do you know a vendor that can get us a deal???

·        We will need volunteers for the race and packet pick up. Want to volunteer to help with any of the above? Be my guest!!!!

·        Make a donation! Get a friend to donate! Get a business to donate!!!!

·        Register for the race AND run it! Or just be a “sleep walker” and register without running.

Mom devoted much of her life to being a pharmacist at the local Walmart and helping people. What a better way to salute her than devote some of your time (or money if you don’t have time). You’ll notice there are a lot of exclamation marks throughout this blog indicating my level of excitement. And I so desire for the community to be excited about this event, too, and for it to be a smashing success!  

And in the middle of all this we have to move out of our house within the next THREE WEEKS! Actually it’s more like 18 days. I shouldn’t have counted that. Oh dear. Time to grab a beer.... and a box. Story of our lives! Always busy! But seeing all your glowing, happy faces at the race on turkey day will make it all worth it!

The End of a Nightmare

Welcome to the blog that is my summary/rant about my experience through grad school (the second time around). The title of this blog is the best summary I can give to the experience…..  3 year nightmare. OK, so this last year hasn’t been as bad because I was just working and didn’t have to go to class but we still had assignments to turn in. I am beyond ready to have my life back. 

[And just to explain what I do… I am a Licensed Specialist in School Psychology. I test students for learning disabilities, behavior disorders, Autism, etc. I can also provide counseling services but that’s not my fave. There’s a lot more to this job but that’s the easiest way I can describe it. Similar to a diagnostician but we can do more (sorry diag friends).]

Some days I honestly am not sure what I was thinking when I signed on to do this. I wanted something more than the job that I had and the impression central office was giving at that time was that jobs there were scarce and wouldn’t be available for a long time. Then there’s the total misrepresentation that Trinity gives about how much its program costs. “With tuition breaks and being paid for working through the program it’s essentially FREE!” Not hardly! Now, if you didn’t need the money you were getting paid for working to actually live and could allocate it back to tuition then it might have been closer to free.  But who lives in that world? Certainly not me.  My first master’s program (@ UT) was part time and that went decently well and was relatively easy…. I quickly found out that part time school and working full time is VERY different than full time school and working almost full time. 

I also have some significant complaints about how some of the classes were structured and run. If I’m paying that much money for classes I shouldn’t have to learn how to do something on the job. This has frequently been the case. I’ll stop there and spare you on my specific complaining because it’s a lot of “you had to be part of it to really understand” kinds of things.

Now all that belly aching aside… I do enjoy my job. It can be very busy and very stressful but the days fly by because of that. The Masters in Special Ed and all my experience definitely helps out with this job but it also gets me in trouble, too, as I have been told I over step the parameters of my current job. I also met some very good friends that I know I will consult with about LSSP stuff for the rest of my life. My LSSP besties call each other the three thirds. The three of us combined make one fantastic LSSP. That may be the biggest positive to this whole thing… that I got to work with some tremendous LSSP’s that I consider friends as well as colleagues.

A lot of life altering things happened over the three years of this program. I got married! I was pregnant for most of my second year (pregnant lady on campus... talk about an easy way to scare undergrads). Had a baby. And lost my mom. I got teary as I typed that last sentence. That is actually one of the reasons I chose not to walk in the graduation ceremony. My mom is the only one in my family who would have genuinely wanted to be there. And I think sitting there and thinking about that would make me a mess! And I don’t want to make the rest of my family sit through my 4^th graduation either. 

So I started this whole thing under the premise of “it’s only 3 years of my life.” You can do anything for just 3 years right??? Well, I suppose that is correct. I did survive. And I have no better summary for those 3 years of school than “thank goodness it’s over.” AND I better get a job! Speaking of which, keep your fingers crossed that this blog is followed with one within the next month of how I actually got a job… to be continued.

Wasn't expecting that...

I’ve been debating about the subject of my next blog now that the “100 happy people” challenge is over… and here comes “the challenge” again! A little back ground….the church invited people to share their journey by emailing in our experiences. So I just emailed the link to my blog as I wrote it. I’m sure about a billion other parishioners emailed stories, too. Today I got an email, with attached consent form, from Max Lucado’s assistant letting me know that Max would like to use my story in a future book! How neat is that! I thought maybe if something were funny he would mention it during one of his sermons… but being part of a book about this experience is way cool! And now I’m so curious what he would use! And how many other people got the same email. And I hope it was decently written and I don’t sound like a fool. I’m sure I spelled something wrong… I always spell something wrong. Hopefully it won’t be a direct quotation ;) So I now have a fantastic conclusion to my “100 Happy People” journey… person 101 is ME! You can certainly make someone happy by putting them in a book.  

End of the Journey

Week “who knows at this point” update

It appears that I wasn’t very active in making people happy over spring break. Possibly because I spent a lot of time at home working and had little interaction with others? More likely because I was not in the happiest mood last week. I find it difficult to spread happiness when you lack the feeling yourself.

Person 61- I sent my Mamaw a card and picture of me and my mom from my wedding for her to have. I had just stuck a stamp on it and put it in the mail when she texted after reading my previous blog and said “you make me happy whenever you call or text.” She also shared with her bible study group the 100 day challenge and that I had been recording my journey through my blog.

Person 62- some very good friends of ours are about to have their second baby and I took her our bassinet to borrow and a bag of baby clothes.

Person 63- A friend from high school organizes races and has been a tremendous help planning the Turkey Trot. I ran into his mom at an event this weekend and told her how impressed I was with her son and how thankful I was for all his help.

Person 64 and 65- When Tay and I were on a run we passed a couple working in their yard and I yelled “looking good” as we passed. With shock in his voice he said, “well thanks!”

Person 66- On the way to the district office I bought a bag of candy. The lady who works at the front desk always has a smile and a kind greeting. She was talking when I walked by so I just laid some candy on her desk and went upstairs. When I left I asked if she had seen the candy… she was very thankful and said she had been surprised and wondered who left it.

Persons 67- 77- I left a basket of candy at one of the LSSP computers and another in the kitchen. I’m sure this made at the very least 10 people happy although it may have been more. I personally feel like I won the lottery when I stumble upon free food at work J

Person 78- The SLP (speech and language pathologist) at my campus and I have very different personalities and tend to butt heads from time to time. I saw him sitting in the conference room waiting for a meeting and I took him some candy as well. Funny… his response was “is this a trick?” and we laughed and chatted for a few minutes.

Person 79- One of the special education teachers at my school is super helpful and very kind. I texted to see if I could bring her something from Starbucks one morning… she decline but then later emailed and said it was nice that I thought of her and she felt special… so I’m counting it!

Person 80- I was getting subway for lunch and picked up a sandwich for a friend.

Person 81- At the store in line waiting to check out, the lady in front of me dropped something out of her basked and I picked it up for her. It was only then that I realized she was a “coupon-er” and I was stuck behind her because I had already unpacked half my basket. So I practiced another idea from our pastor… pray while you’re waiting in line! It really does help me to not lose my cool as I’m losing those oh so precious moments waiting in line.

Person 82 and 83- Our friends Jeff and Haley are truly a gift to us. They are there for support, to help with Tay, and just for fun! Seriously, any time we need them. So this weekend I took over some beer and wine that I thought they might like. It doesn’t even begin to say thanks for all the do for us but it was a nice gesture I suppose.

Person 84- 100(ish)- In thinking of how I was going share joy with more people I decided to do something I don’t normally do… I ordered 20 Easter cards with my cutie patootie of a daughter’s smiling face on them. I sent them out to some of our very closest family and friends that have been there for us since my mom got sick. I’m sorry if you didn’t get one…. I only ordered 20!

That brings me to the end of my 100 happy people journey. Just in time for the end of lent. This week is hard because my family always has a big fish fry on Good Friday. It’s so hard without my mom because she loved stuff like this. She loved to party… that’s why I love to party!  It just doesn’t seem right without her. I'm not sure how to conclude this experience, I think because this week is difficult. I guess the silver lining is getting to see all of our friends and family this weekend... and while mom's not here to enjoy it with us, she's watching over us from the biggest Easter party of all.

happy people update

Upon request from my grandmother, I’ll take a break from working on spring break (isn’t that a sad statement) and update my blog. I think I’m behind on people. I am using this challenge as my Lenten sacrifice so I’m going to make an executive decision and say I have until Easter to get 100 people. I need to step it up though! 

Week 3ish

Person 36- We started going to a financial planner to get all our investing and savings where it needs to be for our future and for Tay. This guy has just been awesome about educating us about what all we need to do. When I emailed to get everything started I thanked him for all the help and said we truly appreciated all the time he had spent working with us.

Person 37- Most of the software we need to score things is at central office which is a total pain because you have to drive over there to do it. I have one of our most used tests on my computer though and I helped an LSSP friend out by scoring something for her.

Person 38- once a week I go to Starbucks as a treat to get my morning coffee. While there a worker dropped an empty cup over the counter. Instead of making him go around I went and picked it up for him.

Person 39- The language support teacher at my school is a tremendous help to me on a consistent basis. When I have to do anything regarding bilingual assessment or meeting with Spanish speaking parents she’s generally the one to help me out. And never does she complain or say she’s too busy. I appreciate her very much and told her thanks in a text.

Person 40 and 41- I follow an old neighbor on facebook. He and his wife always have the nicest things to say about each other and about their love for the Lord. After one of his posts I commented that I loved the wonderful example of marriage and followers of Christ that they were modeling for their sons.

Person 42- I stopped at subway for lunch one day. There was a lady in front of me with a daughter about Taytum’s age. She naturally looked like she had her hands full so I carried her tray to a table for her.

Person 43- As I mentioned previously, I’m at a bilingual campus, so some of the evaluations I do are with kids who speak Spanish and English. In most of these cases we test in both languages; I test in English and another evaluator comes to test in Spanish. We don’t have a lot of bilingual evaluators (which is silly for this district) and the few we have are totally slammed with work. I had to leave a report to sign at central office for one of the ladies who helps me test so I put a thank you note and a piece of chocolate in with the report.

Person 44- Our campus got new computers! The tech people came one night and set up everything in my office so I left a thank you note and a little snack bag of cookies for them. When I came in the next morning the tech had written “awesome!” on the note for me.

Person 45- Another Etsy seller. I ordered something and literally within 5 minutes she had emailed me back with a proof! Talk about being prompt! And I told her that.

Person 46- A good friend of mine from growing up has a fantastic mom. She always took care of us when we stayed the night and was so kind. She’s also a friend of my mom’s and has been unbelievably supportive and checks up on me since mom passed away. I sent her a facebook message telling her how important she was to me throughout my life and that I know mom appreciated her as a friend as well.

Person 47-57- On the Friday before Spring Break I decided to spread a little spring break cheer and brought breakfast tacos to work! I’m not counting the taco(s) I ate…. But they did make me happy!

Person 58- My sister-in-law, Kimber, is an AMAZING artist! Truly, very talented. She’s helped me many times with projects and t-shirt designs. Most recently she designed the race shirt that our school will wear at the district’s 5K run. To thank her I had some cookies delivered to her house (she lives out of town).

Person 59- One of the copy machines at school has been having issues recently and was out of order last week. When I walked into the work room to copy something I saw the repair man there. I thanked him profusely for coming to our aid and he says “hey, I’m happy to help, but I’m not Santa Clause.” A repair guy with a sense of humor, gotta love it.

Person 60- While at Target yesterday I had many things in my cart to check out and the person behind me only had one item so I let her go before me.

To be continued….    

100 happy people continued!

Week 2ish

The weeks are starting to blur together as I have less time to report on my journey but here’s what I’ve had time to write up since the last post.

Person 21- A friend from college sent me a message on facebook after reading my post and said that I should count her as one of my people because reading my blog makes her happy. AW! How nice is that! That was a reciprocal spread of happiness I believe.

I would like to clarify a few things though… I no way am I happy all the time! Not even close! I have found through this challenge, though, that while being nice to someone, it’s impossible to not feel joy yourself. I’d also like to say that my intention in posting all this was not to brag about what I’m doing…. I really hoped that my experience would encourage more people to try it!

Person 22- I went to the cleaners to get some pants altered. The seamstress said she had been in a bad mood all day but she seemed perfectly pleasant to me! And I told her that and thanked her for being so kind.

Person 23- the cable went out in our bedroom, which is a huge deal because often that’s the only way I can distract Tay long enough to take a shower. So the Uverse guy comes over and is incredibly polite and updates a bunch of old stuff to our wiring (or something like that). So I thanked him profusely for coming and staying late and really for doing such a thorough job.

Person 24- My uncle Steve has always invited us kids to Longhorn outings since I was little. And really, all the super important Texas sporting events I’ve been to have been with him. He’s also helped to organize and get tickets for a baseball game for all of us to go be together on my mom’s birthday. It’s what she would have wanted to do. I told him he’s literally “the best” via text and thanked him in person after the game. I really hope he understands how meaningful all those memories are to me/us.

Person 25- I’m keeping track of these on my phone and I wrote down “Bistro worker” and I can’t for the life of me remember what I was talking about. I’m sure I thanked someone at lunch or something?

Person 26- I ordered a stuffed horse off Etsy for a birthday party we have coming up. The seller was so great to work with and the horse turned out super cute. So I sent her a private message telling her that she was very talented and left her a glowing review.

Person 27- and while I was reviewing that item it reminded me I had purchased something else on Etsy for my husband (Jeep key hanging thing) and I think it may be one of the favorite things I’ve ever gotten him… so I gave a top notch review and told the seller that.

Person 28- One day last week another LSSP was out and I covered for her on the preschool assessment team which is on another campus. There was a little girl in the hallway, a kindergartener I’d say, who looked sad. When we crossed paths I told her how much I loved her pink sparkly sweater and wished I had one like it. She smiled.

That same day, after we finished the assessment, I had planned to compliment the parent on how involved and interested she was in her child’s progress and schooling. Before I even got the chance she thanked our team for doing such a great job and helping to educate her about the evaluation process. WOW! That never happens! She made my day!

Person 29- My sister (well, she’s really my sister-in-law) is really my very best friend. She was my matron of honor and I was hers. She also stood with me at my mother’s funeral and we gave the eulogy together. She is an incredible counselor and is devoted to her job as well as her family. So I texted her and told her all that and thanked her for being literally by my side during the best and worst moments of my life. She replied thanking me and that she had needed “that” tonight.

Person 30- while in the 15 items or less line at the store I saw the man behind me looking for a place to put his small basket so I took it from him and put it away under the check-out stand.

Person 31- A friend who is a speech pathologist that I used to work with at another campus changed her schedule and came to help me out with an Autism evaluation a couple of weeks ago. So I sent her a thank you note and a valentine’s pen in the pony (district mail system).

Person 32- during a meeting with a parent she mentioned that she had already done something that we had talked about previously so I praised her for that!

Person 33- I ordered a cake from Costco for my mom’s birthday celebration. They are DELICIOUS! You don’t get many options for decorating though, which is really no big deal. I checked off “baseball” for a theme, orange for the color, and “hook’em horns” for the wording. I really didn’t have very high expectations. So when I went to pick up the cake I nearly broke down in tears because it was so perfect! I stopped on the way out and complimented the cake decorator and she looked stunned.

Person 34- At the baseball game we had extra cake so we gave it to some kids in other suites and the workers. Cake makes me happy so I’m certain it made them happy as well.

Person 35- In a phone conversation with a parent I was surprised with how much they had been doing to help their child and I complemented them. It’s amazing how much saying something nice can turn a whole conversation in a positive direction.

I have more I could report on but that will have to wait. I’m VERY glad this is the last week before spring break because I’m ready for a BREAK!!!! As much as I am a rule follower and try to do right by kids and the district and as thorough as I try to be, I most definitely do not make parents happy all the time. Some have a hard time when their kid does qualify and they don’t want them to be “labeled” and others fight to find something wrong with their child. I feel like I’ve been dealing with more of the unhappy side recently. Sigh…. One more week!