How do people do this??

I started a post about a month ago and never finished it. It’s funny to look back now and see how much things have changed in a month… and really since she was born. Last month I was totally exhausted and overwhelmed. I think I can change that feeling from “totally” to “moderately.” As a new working mom I’m just guessing that the overwhelmed feeling never goes away. T is sleeping through the night most nights so that is a huge improvement. Even if she does wake up, she can take down a bottle in less than 15 minutes and will go straight back to sleep. The times when she wakes up between 4 and 5 are probably the worst because I don’t have time to go back to sleep. But it’s still not bad as far as 4 month olds are concerned.

She really is a great baby! The only time she cries is if she’s hungry or tired. There’s the occasional fussing because she just wants to be loved on more but daddy has recently found that she LOVES the Jeep carrier. At least with that she is happy and I can get things done around the house so it’s currently a win-win! And she’s just so giggly now, talk about pure happiness. All I have to do is sing a little song and she’s cracking up and smiling all over the place… possibly because of my horrible voice?

The days just fly by because I’m always swamped at work. Which is good and bad I guess. I’m not taking any work home (yet) so that’s good! The following is the only thing I kept from my previously unfinished post from last month. I’m still baffled by working moms so I’ll still post that……I seriously don’t know how people do this… and we only have ONE kid! I’m going to need a lot more prayers once we have more. I guess I could give up running and then I’d have more time BUT I’d be miserable in other ways. I consider myself a pretty darned organized person and I feel like I’m barely making it day to day. Seriously, how do people do this? Or rather how do they have time to love on their kids and keep the house clean, the clothes washed, dinner cooked (ok so I don’t do this one), grass mowed (daddy job), and on and on.  I am very well aware that I will need an oil change and I’m passed due for a tire rotation… when am I supposed to do this stuff? I guess on a Saturday, or after working all day but neither of those options sound appealing. Currently I guess I trade the time it takes to cook something for snuggling with my family… but I’m not going to be able to do this forever. Eventually she’s going to want a real meal and then I guess I’m in trouble.  We’ll cross that bridge when we get there!

At the end of school each day I go give my hands one last scrubbin with soap before I head to pick up Tay… and it’s the greatest feeling to think of her little face, and that one little dimple (not two) and that I’m going to see her soon!

The family that runs together...

Most families sit down to dinner together. Not us. We go on family runs. I always really wanted us to have that family dinner time and maybe someday we’ll get there but for now it’s not working out that way. Jim and I enjoy running too much to give it up. To be honest, I haven’t cooked a meal, beside when people have been over, since before Taytum was born. That probably makes me a bad wife. But then again I don’t have a husband that cares about having a big meal every night. Nor do I. We would rather go for a run so for now this works for us.

This week we finally got back up to 6 miles! This used to be a normal nightly run mileage for us but we’re a little out of running shape. Poor Jim works way harder than I do because he pushes the jogging stroller. Thank goodness for that thing! But a 10 pound baby plus the weight of the car seat and adapter is nothing to joke about. And also thankfully Taytum likes the stroller. I’d say she’s been pushed on over 100 miles since she was born. And yes, I realize you’re not “supposed” to push a baby in the stroller until they are older and have control of their head. Trust me, we aren’t going fast! We also stay on smooth surfaces and watch out for bumps in the road. She jostles around more when we are driving on a country road! Are people who live on bumpy roads discouraged from taking their babies on drives? I think not. I also rolled up a towel and put it around her head to make it more stable. I personally think she has good control of her neck for her age because of that but in reality she’s probably just normal.  I may be a bad mom for pushing her in a stroller so early… add it to the list. I’m sure it won’t be the last thing I’m judged for.

Over all I want our running to make an impression on T. I want her to have a competitive spirit. I want her to learn how to live a healthy life style and love being outdoors. She doesn’t have to want to run necessarily but if she doesn’t want to be an athlete I think it will crush me!

Workin on my Fitness

Thank you to everyone who sent messages and commented on the breast feeding blog. All the support and suggestions are MUCH appreciated.

I thought I’d devote this blog to something I know much more about and that I feel in control of! I’ve always been an athlete and worked out. I started running long distance about 5 years ago. I enjoyed the competition with myself to run faster and longer each time and it really became addictive. Before getting pregnant I ran 6-9 miles 3 times per week. I would also swim and/ or go to the gym 3 other days of the week. I logged more miles when I was training for a race but had cut back when we were trying to get pregnant. I had really wanted to continue running all through my pregnancy but that proved to be much more difficult than I had anticipated.

I spent a lot of time researching running, fitness, and nutrition while pregnant. I was determined to keep my weight gain minimal yet healthy for our growing baby. I think that’s my main reason for writing this blog… to let women know it IS possible to keep working out or at least continue to be active AND get your body back after baby. I had REALLY wanted to be like the women whose blogs I had read that kept running throughout their pregnancies. While this didn’t work out for me I was still active at least 6 days per week. Since running and working out is a stress reliever for me I really needed, not just wanted, to continue my routine for my own well-being. Swimming was my saving grace and I swam multiple times each week all the way up to the end. It felt so good to be weightless in the pool and stretch out all the aches and pains.

I set my goal at gaining 25- 35 pounds. I downloaded a nutrition ap that tracked everything I ate and calculated the calories I burned during work outs. This allowed me to make sure I was getting what my body needed in addition to accounting for the calories I would need to make up for those lost during work outs. I found a base number of calories suggested for a person my size during each trimester and made that my daily goal. I already split my diet into 4 meals; breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack(s) so I continued that. I have never been one of those people who can live on three meals a day…. I literally eat every 1-2 hours.

I also made sure that I got at least 70 grams of protein each day. This was the biggest change to my diet since I’m not a huge meat eater. I was surprised that the normal amount of yogurt, cheese, and protein shake that I ate accounted for a good portion of that. Luckily during pregnancy one of the things I really craved was chicken and red meat so I easily hit the protein goal each day. Other than that, I literally ate whatever I wanted. Chicken strips were a main staple as well as lucky charms and ice cream. The key is portion control. I would get a chicken strip basket, including fries, and eat half of it. The other half I would save for the next day. Just FYI the Bill Millers chicken strip basket is over 1200 calories. That is way more than the average person needs to consume during one sitting. And I’m not kidding when I say I had ice cream every night! I would find that I needed more calories to hit my goal and a cup of ice cream would fit that nicely.
I ended up gaining 20 pounds. Half of that was during the first trimester when I felt horrible and nothing but random junk food sounded good to me. The majority of the rest was during the third trimester when T was doing her biggest amount of growing. I did not ever feel hungry and I did not deprive myself. In fact, towards the end I would get full very quickly and ate more small meals instead.

Taytum weighed 6 pounds at birth and then there’s the placenta and all the fluids you lose during delivery so by the time we came home from the hospital I had already lost 10 pounds. Don’t hate me but the next 6 pounds flew off within 2 weeks. Due to breast feeding maybe? Those last 4 pounds have been stubborn though. That could possibly be due to my new addiction to ice cream and the fact that I like to have a beer or glass of wine now and again. After week three I broke it to my husband that the ice cream would have to go. I have no self-control when it’s in the freezer. I’m looking into lower cal options and will report back on that shortly!

Even though I’m close to my pre-pregnancy weight, everything looks much different than it did before.  The doctor released me back to normal activity as soon as I left the hospital and felt up to it so I started walking right away. I added intervals of very slow jogging at week 2. I can now run 3 miles without stopping but it’s not easy or pretty. My goal is to get back to running half marathons but right now that’s looking like a far off goal. The Texas heat certainly isn’t helping me out in this department either. I can’t wait to get back to swimming and cycling but I’m waiting until after my 6 week check up for that. I’m hoping that adding the different activities and boosting intensity will help me get somewhere back to where I was.

 2 weeks postpartum

 

I ultimately hope that our active life style will rub off on our daughter and she will love running and have a competitive nature like we do.

Month 1 Struggles

Taytum came into this world a month ago and our lives have changed so much! I obviously knew this was going to happen but I guess you’ll never know what it’s like until you go through it. WARNING… If you don’t care to hear about the details of breast feeding… this particular blog instalment is not for you.

I think the most difficult part for me has been breast feeding. In hindsight, I should have taken the breastfeeding class offered by the hospital but I really didn’t think it would be this difficult. If you are pregnant I strongly suggest that you go to this class! Taytum is getting better but she is a finicky eater to say the least. In the beginning she wouldn’t latch and it was very stressful trying to feed her. I’m not being dramatic when I say she would look at my boob and shake her head like a possessed little baby. I say that with all the love in my heart. We had the lactation consultants come in to help and they literally had me hand expressing and feeing her like a little bird with a syringe. I still call her “little bird” because of that experience. At some point in the week 1 frustration I had the brilliant idea to try a nipple shield and that helped a ton.

Mainly, I think she’s just a lazy eater. She nurses herself to sleep and isn’t really sucking. So at week two I started supplementing with pumped breast milk because I was terrified that she was too little and not gaining enough weight. That resulted in an 11 ounce weight gain in one week BUT it also just about sent me over the edge. I’d nurse her for 20- 30 minutes, feed from a bottle, and then pump. Then an hour later it’s time to start the process all over again. Talk about losing your mind. It was also stressing me out to think about going places with her and planning out her feedings. So when the doctor acknowledged my concerns and said supplementing with formula would be fine if it was going to save me from going nuts I jumped on it. Now I’m supplementing with formula after she nurses and the last feeding before bedtime is formula that daddy gives T! Supposedly formula takes longer to digest so the hope was that she would give me a larger chunk of sleeping time before the first nighttime feeding…. I haven’t noticed a big difference there. The addition of formula IS allowing me to save more pumped breast milk and start a supply to give T once I go back to work. That’s a big plus for me… I just have to deal with the mommy guilt. And I swear now it’s like those “breast milk is best” commercials follow me no matter what I’m watching! My husband seems to think the formula (which is the closest to breast milk that they make) gives her gas. This was like a knife to my heart. Am I saving myself some sanity by making my sweet girl uncomfortable in the process? I don’t notice a difference in her behavior so I’m sticking with it.

I think I’ve decided that I’m sticking with all this until I go back to work. I’ll pump and continue as long as I can but if I start to lose my mind over it I’m throwing in the towel. I’ve had plenty of moms fess up that they or their children were formula fed and still turned out normal.

Month 1 positives- Baby girl is above her birth weight and still gaining… and goodness is she cute!

 

The New Normal

A lot has changed since my last post.... mainly, I'm not pregnant anymore and we have a new daughter! The doctor thought she might come early but I'm not sure I totally believed it would happen.... and then it did. Taytum is 12 days old. When I say it out loud I can't believe it's only been 12 days. But then again 12 is approaching 15 which is essentially half a month and I can't believe she's half a month old either. Do I sound sleep deprived yet?

My water broke on the morning of the June 24th which was awesome because one of the things I really wanted to happen was to experience my water breaking on its own. Weird, I know, don't ask me why. Jim was already at work and I had just told him when he left the house not to worry about coming to my doctor's appointment that day because I didn't think anything significant was going to happen. Little girl is making me in to a liar! I called and told him we needed to get to the hospital but not to rush too much because I still wanted to shower and look presentable. so I did that and texted or called as many friends and family as I could before he threatened to take my phone away. Even though it was very apparent that my water had broken I still had a lingering fear that I would get to the hospital and they would tell me I was just fat and peeing on myself and send me home. Lucky for me my water had broken and we got to stay!

Since I still wasn't having painful contractions they started me on Pitocin to get the party moving along. I thought it was interesting how much the nurse encouraged me to ask for the epidural as soon as possible.... then I found out why. I mean obviously I knew contractions were going to hurt but I was curious what they would feel like and thought I could handle a few. In a matter of 30 minutes my pain went from a 3 to a 9. Then I got the glorious Epidural and the world was right again. I couldn't feel anything below my ribs. Which in hindsight may have been a bad thing because it interfered with my ability to push.

And, oh the pushing. I'm not quite sure how I thought this part of delivery would go but I feel like I know a lot of people who pushed a few times and the baby was out... not the case with me. After the first few pushes I could tell I wasn't making much progress even though Jim, my mom, and the nurse were trying hard to lie to me a tell me that I was. It was even more alarming when the nurse tried to console me by telling me that first time moms have a harder time and sometimes push for 2 to 3 hours!!! what?!?! That was not helpful information. After half an hour I was already tired. At the 2 hour mark I was exhausted and freaking out that I had been through the worst part of delivery and was still going to have to have a C-section. Luckily, the doctor was able to use the vacuum/ suction thingy and get Taytum out! Her bruising is gone but her head is still a little miss-shapen. poor baby!

At 7:10, during a shift change, Miss Taytum Belle Welch came into our lives weighing 6 pounds and measuring 19 and 3/4 inches! And our lives are forever changed! Stay tuned for chronicles of our "new normal."

Ode to Pregnancy.... Part II

I know some women who just loved being pregnant and I totally thought I would be that way. While it was/ is amazing and there are a few things I will miss (see Part I) overall, it wasn't easy for me. I think this is mostly because it changed my daily routine so much! I went from being VERY active to being semi active and a couch dweller. So not my norm, and really not enjoyable for me.

Things I WILL NOT miss...

Midnight trips to the bathroom
Or for that matter multiple trips to the bathroom ALL DAY LONG! I know I still need to stay hydrated even when I'm not pregnant but this is extreme.

Braxton Hicks contractions
I didn't even know I was having them until we had our little 2.5 day stint in the hospital back around week 26. The nurse said "you know you're having contractions, right?" well, no, I didn't. and if they're not painful are they REALLY contractions? and who knows when they started. I have them almost constantly now but still no pain. I notice when my belly is tight and that's about it. It's just weird.

Morning sickness
Mine was not nearly as bad as some people I've heard of but it was still not pleasant. Really, I felt hungover and tired all.the.time. Hung over without the party from the night before which is just cruel. I ingested a lot of preggy pops during the first trimester to make it through work. I can vaguely remember how not fun it was but I'm already forgetting the specifics.... so this must by why women continue to have children.... they forget the bad!

Rib pain
I was not expecting this one at all and when I complained to my doctor she looks at me like I was the first person who'd ever said that to her before. Luckily my good friend "Google" knows lots of women who do have this problem so I at least know I'm not crazy. Why no one has come up with a solution to this problem or at least a remedy is beyond me. I'm telling you, it's got money making potential because I'm not sure there's a limit to what I would have paid for this to get better. Still in pain on a daily basis.

Being out of breath
I'm a runner and swimmer for goodness sakes, I can regulate my breathing! or COULD several months ago. Now, long bouts of standing can bring me to panting. Just pathetic! When I first found out I was pregnant I did lots of research on working out and running through pregnancy. I read lots of blogs of women who ran their entire pregnancy like it was nothing. Well, they are freaking super women! For me, it was difficult from the start. Although some days it did momentarily make the morning sickness better. Second trimester was a little better but still a battle. I was willing to push through the uncomfortable runs UNTIL the hospital stay. Obviously not worth it to risk having a preterm baby. I was able to keep walking, swimming, and lifting light weights 5-6 times per week until the end (as in I still am). Better that than nothing I suppose.

Round ligament pain
This is relatively new, too. I'd say starting around 32 weeks. Sharp, shooting pain in my groin/ leg region. One night I was dreaming I was in pain and then I woke up and realized it was REAL pain. Joy! It just randomly happens without warning.... nothing like the horrible, earth shattering, husband waking leg cramps that happen in the middle of the night. And now I have the obstacle of not being able to reach my calf from the laying position so it's back to the "helpless" scenario where my husband has to wake up and save me. Although, that may not be a whole lot different than how leg cramps were dealt with before pregnancy.

All the time on the couch
Morning sickness and being exhausted led to lots of couch time in the first trimester. Then bed rest and more exhaustion led to more. I essentially live there. Thank goodness my husband had invested in a nice couch during his bachelor days! I don't think I have ever spent this much time on the couch! Thanks to my laptop and flexible bosses I do get a lot of work done there and I'm very thankful for that.

Feeling totally worthless/ helpless
I can't lift anything heavy. Can't (or not supposed to) climb on a chair/ ladder/ stool. Too exhausted to pull weeds in the flower beds. Can't use heavy duty cleaning supplies (which are obviously the best ones). Can't/ shouldn't/ don't.... I have never watched what I've eaten or monitored my activity level so much.

Heart burn, reflux, and tums for dessert
Before pregnancy I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've had indigestion. Oh my how things have changed. Tums is essentially candy at this point. Very necessary candy.

Sleeping on my side
I am a back sleeper!!!! So sleeping on my side is really a task. I have to shove pillows on each side of me to keep me from rolling onto my back (Yes, I've tried the big snake pillow thing and it didn't work for me). Then multiple times a night I startle myself awake because I realize I'm on my back and I may be pinching whatever vein is leading to Taytum and cutting off her nutrients or any number of horrible things they say sleeping on your back leads to. Then I have to stay awake to make sure she moves and is still alive. Vicious cycle of this all night.

And I'd do it all again in a heart beat. I'm so thankful for a supportive husband that has tried to make things easier on me. I can't wait to see Taytum's little face, who she resembles, and what her little personality will be like!

Ode to Pregnancy, Part I

The title should really be... "Ode to pregnancy... how I will not miss thee." I started this post as a humorous take on all the not fun things about the miracle of pregnancy. I actually thought of more good stuff than I was anticipating so we'll make this a 2 parter.

Now don't get me wrong, I know exactly how blessed I am to even be able to get pregnant and I am truly, unbelievably thankful for that! I just point out all the crummy things for humor's sake. For as long as I can remember being a mommy and having a family was the biggest goal I had for myself. and really, it still is. I know I've been through a lot of school and have this career and such but that's just what I do and is certainly not the most important thing to me. I have always looked forward to getting pregnant and how "amazing" it would be! I'm not sure amazing is how I would describe it now that I've been through it (well most of it).... and I haven't even given birth nor have I been through the oh so fun postpartum part. There is more excitement to come!

I WILL miss....

Feeling her move
The kicking in the ribs is not my favorite but it's still an amazing feeling. I realized last week that some of the repetitive movements must be hiccups which makes me feel bad for her because having hiccups and not being able to get rid of them is horrible.

My belly and being unapologetically fat in tight clothes
I tend to wear more form fitting clothes because I feel like it accents the belly and makes me look a tad less than huge. This probably leads to all those people starring at me but whatev! My grandmother would die if she knew I was walking around in a bikini 9 months pregnant but honestly this is the best I've ever felt about my body. I'm dreading getting the post baby mushy stomach back in shape.... along with all the other body parts that have decided to follow suit.

I do plan on posting monthly pictures of the science experiment that was my body for the past several months and showing how I get it back in shape. Hopefully! I mean I KNOW this is not going to be easy. And really, posting about it will keep me motivated and accountable... in theory.

Having people be nice to you just because you're pregnant
Although I wish I had a sign for my car or could put a bubble around it to make people not drive like jerks around me. Speaking of which, my mobility and cat like reflexes are severely limited right now in addition to the fact that I am admittingly not a good driver so I would stay clear of me on the road.

Eating ice cream every night!
I did not go crazy with my diet by any means but compared to what it was before pregnancy it was a lot different. Possibly in a good way... On the nights when I couldn't stomach anything but a corn dog and tator tots, possibly not the best.  I had a huge aversion to the salads I used to eat every day and still haven't gotten that taste back. I'm not a huge fan of meat but I made myself eat 70 grams of protein each day. Between a protein shake (topped off with Mootopia), yogurt, and cheese it wasn't hard to get enough meat in there to hit the magic 70. I tracked everything I ate on an ap that counted calories, totaled all my nutrition, and even added in my cardio activity so I would know to eat more and compensate for those lost calories or missing nutrition. Those end of the night left over calories usually went to ice cream or some sort of dessert :)

"Part II... The ugly side" to come soon! I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the great things about pregnancy so if you've gone through it please comment and add your favorites!