100 happy people continued!

Week 2ish

The weeks are starting to blur together as I have less time to report on my journey but here’s what I’ve had time to write up since the last post.

Person 21- A friend from college sent me a message on facebook after reading my post and said that I should count her as one of my people because reading my blog makes her happy. AW! How nice is that! That was a reciprocal spread of happiness I believe.

I would like to clarify a few things though… I no way am I happy all the time! Not even close! I have found through this challenge, though, that while being nice to someone, it’s impossible to not feel joy yourself. I’d also like to say that my intention in posting all this was not to brag about what I’m doing…. I really hoped that my experience would encourage more people to try it!

Person 22- I went to the cleaners to get some pants altered. The seamstress said she had been in a bad mood all day but she seemed perfectly pleasant to me! And I told her that and thanked her for being so kind.

Person 23- the cable went out in our bedroom, which is a huge deal because often that’s the only way I can distract Tay long enough to take a shower. So the Uverse guy comes over and is incredibly polite and updates a bunch of old stuff to our wiring (or something like that). So I thanked him profusely for coming and staying late and really for doing such a thorough job.

Person 24- My uncle Steve has always invited us kids to Longhorn outings since I was little. And really, all the super important Texas sporting events I’ve been to have been with him. He’s also helped to organize and get tickets for a baseball game for all of us to go be together on my mom’s birthday. It’s what she would have wanted to do. I told him he’s literally “the best” via text and thanked him in person after the game. I really hope he understands how meaningful all those memories are to me/us.

Person 25- I’m keeping track of these on my phone and I wrote down “Bistro worker” and I can’t for the life of me remember what I was talking about. I’m sure I thanked someone at lunch or something?

Person 26- I ordered a stuffed horse off Etsy for a birthday party we have coming up. The seller was so great to work with and the horse turned out super cute. So I sent her a private message telling her that she was very talented and left her a glowing review.

Person 27- and while I was reviewing that item it reminded me I had purchased something else on Etsy for my husband (Jeep key hanging thing) and I think it may be one of the favorite things I’ve ever gotten him… so I gave a top notch review and told the seller that.

Person 28- One day last week another LSSP was out and I covered for her on the preschool assessment team which is on another campus. There was a little girl in the hallway, a kindergartener I’d say, who looked sad. When we crossed paths I told her how much I loved her pink sparkly sweater and wished I had one like it. She smiled.

That same day, after we finished the assessment, I had planned to compliment the parent on how involved and interested she was in her child’s progress and schooling. Before I even got the chance she thanked our team for doing such a great job and helping to educate her about the evaluation process. WOW! That never happens! She made my day!

Person 29- My sister (well, she’s really my sister-in-law) is really my very best friend. She was my matron of honor and I was hers. She also stood with me at my mother’s funeral and we gave the eulogy together. She is an incredible counselor and is devoted to her job as well as her family. So I texted her and told her all that and thanked her for being literally by my side during the best and worst moments of my life. She replied thanking me and that she had needed “that” tonight.

Person 30- while in the 15 items or less line at the store I saw the man behind me looking for a place to put his small basket so I took it from him and put it away under the check-out stand.

Person 31- A friend who is a speech pathologist that I used to work with at another campus changed her schedule and came to help me out with an Autism evaluation a couple of weeks ago. So I sent her a thank you note and a valentine’s pen in the pony (district mail system).

Person 32- during a meeting with a parent she mentioned that she had already done something that we had talked about previously so I praised her for that!

Person 33- I ordered a cake from Costco for my mom’s birthday celebration. They are DELICIOUS! You don’t get many options for decorating though, which is really no big deal. I checked off “baseball” for a theme, orange for the color, and “hook’em horns” for the wording. I really didn’t have very high expectations. So when I went to pick up the cake I nearly broke down in tears because it was so perfect! I stopped on the way out and complimented the cake decorator and she looked stunned.

Person 34- At the baseball game we had extra cake so we gave it to some kids in other suites and the workers. Cake makes me happy so I’m certain it made them happy as well.

Person 35- In a phone conversation with a parent I was surprised with how much they had been doing to help their child and I complemented them. It’s amazing how much saying something nice can turn a whole conversation in a positive direction.

I have more I could report on but that will have to wait. I’m VERY glad this is the last week before spring break because I’m ready for a BREAK!!!! As much as I am a rule follower and try to do right by kids and the district and as thorough as I try to be, I most definitely do not make parents happy all the time. Some have a hard time when their kid does qualify and they don’t want them to be “labeled” and others fight to find something wrong with their child. I feel like I’ve been dealing with more of the unhappy side recently. Sigh…. One more week!

100 happy people update and a valentine's surprise

WEEK 1 recap…. Actually a little early but who knows when I’ll have another chance to update this and I had a couple more things to say on this GORGEOUS Valentine’s day!

Person #1- Left a thank you note to our new house cleaner

Person 2-4- Tay and I made cookies and took them to our neighbors. We don’t know our neighbors well but we always wave hello to each other. Ever since Taytum was born they have tended to stop and talk a little more. Ever since I took the cookies over and stayed to chat they have been overly nice and nearly jumping up and down to say hi when we see them outside.  

Person 5- left a note over my trash can at school for the custodial staff telling them thank you for keeping my office clean

Person 6- I tested a kid today that is new to our school. I normally praise the kids a ton while they are working because this testing thing isn’t easy. This kid in particular I took special care to let him know that I was very proud of how hard he worked and that I was glad that he moved to our school.

Person 7- I don’t know if family counts but I left a care package on my Dad’s desk at work. A book and cookies from Tay. I think a little surprise would make him happy so I’m counting it!!

Person 8- I had lunch with the LSSP that has been my campus supervisor this year. I told her how much I appreciated all her help and especially her friendship.

Person 9 and 10- I gave Taytum’s little day care friends a Valentine’s treat.

Person 11- I gave Taytum’s sitter a Valentine’s treat and thanked her for loving my baby. I’m sure Tay gave Loretta her best open mouth slobbery kiss, too. I truly feel like finding Loretta was instigated by God. She and her husband have been so great to our family!

Person 12- this is actually like 20 people but I’m only counting it as one act of kindness. I gave pens and chocolate to the staff members that I work with the most.

Person 13 and 14- My two LSSP friends that I went to school with, Stephanie and Lindsey, made the program tolerable and make my job do-able. We talk constantly and there’s not many decision I make without consulting them first because I respect their opinions so much. So I told them that during our normal daily text banter.

Person 15- The person that is in charge of checking out our test kits at the district office is without a doubt one of the nicest and most upbeat people I have ever had the pleasure of working with. And I’ve told him that before. He accepted a new job within the district and I emailed to tell him congratulations and that I was sad to see him go and would miss him.

Persons 16-20- I’m sure it’s actually more than that but I’ll count it as 5. This morning Tay and I went on a 6 mile run (which is fantastic considering how hard it’s getting to push the stroller with a nearly 19 pound baby!). I decided to greet as many people as I could. I waved at as many cars as I could and I said “hello” and “happy vanlentine’s day” to each person I passed. There was a man outside with his daughter working in the yard… he looked at me like I was nuts. There were 2 couples laying pallets of grass in their yard and I told them it looked great. 2 girls were jumping on the trampoline in their back yard and I could see them each time they would go up. They got a kick out of yelling “happy valentine’s day” back at me. It was funny to see peoples different reactions. Some smiled and replied back. Others gave an awkward wave. And then some attempted to avoid me all together. Interesting little experiment I’d say.

On a little Valentine’s side note I have a sweet story. There’s obviously a little hole in our family today and always with my mom no longer with us. She always got us and the kids little surprises on days like this and her kindness and thoughtfulness is missed. My dad was looking through a random closet this morning for who knows what and he found an old valentines card from my mom to my dad. Are you kidding me! All I could think was… Well played God, well played. 

The 100 Happy People Challenge

We go to Oak Hills Church and this Spring’s Sermon Series is called “100 Happy People.” Our pastor, Max Lucado, has challenged us to each make 100 people happy over the course of 40 days. I accept the challenge!

http://oakhillschurch.com/100happypeople/

The premise is to intentionally, purposefully, and practically make people happy. Buy someone coffee, say a kind word, tell someone how they have made a difference in your day or life. This, of course, immediately made me think about all the people who have been supportive while my mom was sick and after she passed. Which naturally made me start crying….during the service…not an uncommon reaction to anything for me now-a-days.

Let me back up a little and describe the kind of mindset I’m in beginning this challenge. I’m overwhelmed most of the time. Getting out of the house on time with a baby in a cute outfit and  a clean diaper along with all the food, toys, bottles, diapers, extra clothes, etc that she needs is a tad stressful for me. Then there’s all the time I spend away from her at work and the rushing home through standstill traffic to get to her each day. There’s also the whole missing my mom aspect. Most mornings on my long commute to work are tear filled. Too much time to think really is the enemy right now. Then there’s the added stress of being a school psychologist at this time of year. A description of my job and it’s added stress to the normal level of stress, towards the end of a school year would be an entire post on its own and I’ll spare you for now. Just know “busy” is an understatement.

So I’ve decided to do the “100 happy people challenge” because really, it should be a piece of cake right? Shouldn’t we all be able to make at least 2.5 people happy on a daily basis? I’ve already caught myself, just over brunch since church, with the opportunity to have said a kind word to several strangers and something kept me from doing it. So for me, I think the challenge is stepping out of my comfort zone to bring cheer to another. I preach about reinforcing students for good behavior on a constant basis so I think it’s time to take some of my own advice. Follow me as I take this challenge and I hope you spread some of your own joy along the way!

Person #1- the next thing on my to-do list today is to leave a thank you note to our new house cleaner who comes tomorrow. It is truly an amazing feeling to come home to a clean house after the rat race and working all day.

Person # 2…..

Marcia Tondre Memorial Little Alsace Turkey Trot

The Tondre/ Welch family has big news and it involves changes for the 2015 Turkey Trot. Same day, same place, same time…. But bigger, better, and for a cause. The race will now be in honor of my mom who recently passed away from cancer. All profits will go to a scholarship fund for a Medina Valley student that will be going into some area within the medical field. We plan to have online registration, t-shirts, swag bags, chip timing, awards, etc. And as always we will conclude the festivities with a celebratory thanksgiving beverage. We have a lot of planning to do before then! If anyone would like to volunteer to help plan or at the race that would be greatly appreciated. We will also be looking for sponsors if anyone is interested in donating. Keep an eye out for updates… I will put together a meeting in March for anyone that is interested in helping in any way. Start planning your Thanksgiving now and make sure you’re around for the “Marcia Tondre Memorial Little Alsace Turkey Trot.”   

What I’ve learned over 47 days of knowing Cancer and 36 days without my mom

A good family can get you through anything. My brother, sister-in-law and I were already thick as thieves, but the extended family, all the aunts and uncles that have stepped up to help or even just been there for us is truly heartwarming and comforting. My grandmother has written every thank you letter, all two hundred-and-something of them… I didn’t even know you were supposed to write thank you letters. There’s a lot I didn’t know about what’s involved in a funeral.  Now I know too much.

 

Friends that act like family are gold. I can’t say enough about all of our friends who have reached out. I really can’t, there aren’t words to express the kind of appreciation you have for those who selflessly love you and are there for you in a time of need.

As hard as it is, be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Tell your family your last wishes. For some reason this has always been something I’ve personally been very vocal about. And because of that I felt like I had an idea of what my mom wanted from previous conversations. I personally want to be cremated. I have no desire for my body to spend it’s eternity in an overpriced box. I realize this is important to some people, I’m just not one of them. Morgan has said she wants a leopard box with a purple bow. How perfect is that? I also don’t want people looking at me. Again, I realize this is something some people need, especially the older generation, but it’s not what I want. I want to be remembered how I was.

Don’t hesitate. Don’t put off going to the doctor for questionable pain. Don’t wait for doctors to call you. Don’t wait for anything. Be a pain in the ass! But then say thank you, and give hugs, and tell the staff how much you appreciate them. You only get one chance to beat this.

Write everything down. It gets really confusing which doctor said what and even what all the doctor’s names are. And when things are hard to hear not everyone hears the same things. Save yourself some arguing and write down everything that happens in a note book. You’ll be glad you had it later.  

Pray like there’s no tomorrow. Because there may not be. Many days I prayed “I don’t know what to pray for” but God knows your heart. I pray with Taytum every night when I put her to bed and know that mom is there with us. I look forward to the day when she’s old enough to pray about what she wants to. Brooks’ prayers are priceless and so innocent and so sweet. “Thank God for Gran, and milk, and muscles.” Yes Brooks, thank God for muscles! And sweet babies!

Cancer sucks! When all this started I think that was the best thing anyone could have told me. A friend of my mom’s hugged me tight and said “this just sucks.” And it’s so true.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up. People keep telling me I’m brave or strong. I feel just the opposite. Now that she’s gone I have no choice. I have to do things that no one else is going to do. Or I have to do the things that she did because she can’t do them now. She kept their house stocked with diapers and wipes. Those stocks are coming to an end. My daughter was nearly 6 months old before I personally had to buy her pajamas. Gran did that. Like magic she would appear with new pajamas right before they were needed. Were we spoiled or what? Spoiled with a great grandma, absolutely! But each of us knew exactly how great she was. And she knew we appreciated her. I have told the pajama story before. And a friend of the family showed up at the funeral with pajamas for Tay. If the tables were turned mom would have done that. And I know she’s watching all of us and appreciating all the kind things everyone has done to care for us.

Call the ones you love! Not being able to talk to someone you love is an ache that I’m not sure will ever go away. I talked to my mom on the phone ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I’d call with a purpose, sometimes not. And just wanting to talk to her, just because, is really the worst now. So often, I’m just a crazy person and talk to her anyway.

I don’t know why. Why her? Why so young? Why did she have to suffer? I don’t know why God choose to take her and he spares others. She was such an amazing grandmother and it pains me to think our children won’t have her in their lives. I know God has a reason, and that’s not comforting to me right now, but I’m not angry about it either.

I don’t really have a conclusion for this blog except that I’ve learned a lot of hard things in a very short amount of time. And I hope you don’t have to go through this any time soon but when you do, that I can be there for you.

Tribute to mom

As many of you know my dear sweet mother passed away on Monday. We are devastated and these have been the worst 47 days of our lives. We are thankful that the good Lord ended her pain but will forever miss her. Below is the tribute Morgan and I wrote together and said at the funeral yesterday for those of you who weren't able to be there. The parts in bold were what I said.

Let us begin by thanking you all for coming to help us celebrate Marcy’s life and share our grief at her passing. Alli and I wrote this together and today we’re speaking on behalf of our family.

We are standing before you today with broken hearts, but we wanted to be the ones to give her tribute because she is our mother… the best mother we could have ever asked for.

Marcia “Marcy” Lea Mueller Tondre, age 58, of Castroville, passed away Dec. 8, 2014 in San Antonio. Marcy was born February 22, 1956 in Hondo to Hilmer E. Mueller and Georgia Ann Rietzer Mueller Pope. Marcy is preceded in death by her father and her step-father, Elmo Pope. She was a 1974 graduate of Hondo High School. In 1978 she graduated from UT Austin with a BS in Pharmacy. She was a pharmacist and managed the local Walmart pharmacy for 17 years. On September 2, 1978 she married Rick Tondre at St. Louis Catholic Church. Survivors include her husband, Rick Tondre; daughter and son-in-law, Allison and Jim Cody Welch ; son and daughter-in-law, Nathan and Morgan Tondre ; grandchildren, Brooks Tondre and Taytum Welch; mother, Georgia Ann Pope; brother and his wife, Steve and Kim Mueller; sister and her husband, Rebecca and Mike Hackebeil; in-laws, Paul and Sandra Tondre, Pat and Carol Tondre, and Col. Charles and Nancy Persyn, Tim and Yvonne Haegelin; numerous nieces, nephews and other relatives.

My name is Morgan Tondre, and I am Marcy’s daughter-in-law. We never really liked the phrase “in law” though, as Marcy treated me as her own from the day I first met her. Truly, that’s how she approached everyone she met, with love & kindness.

During my MOH speech at my sister Alli’s wedding, I said that marrying into the Tondre family is just like winning the lottery, and that’s truly how I feel. It says a lot when we would rather spend at Saturday night together than doing anything else. There is never a dull moment, and always so much fun to be had… which in great part was because of our mom. With the same open arms Marcy embraced her family with, she also embraced the community. Marcy lived her life to help others. I’m not sure she knew any other way. By offering advice, comfort, encouragement, and hugs, Marcy served as the rock of our family. It didn’t matter if it was 2 in the morning, and we were having trouble soothing a colicky baby, she was always a phone call away and would come running to help (& goodness knows we needed all the help we could get)!

Mom was the most amazing Gran we could have ever asked for. Our children  were blessed by having had her love, even though it was only for a short while. Gran and Pop were absolutely unapologetic in how much they loved being a grandparent, even more than being parents.

The day that the Lord called her home, Brooks spent the morning yelling “hook‘em horns” as he ran through the hallways in our home. I would bet that this most certainly would have made her smile.

Not only was she an devoted mother and grandmother to her own children, she embraced our friends as family as well. I affectionately referred to Gran as the “great baby snatcher.” If you went to a party and saw my mother, she would most certainly steal your child for the night. I’m sure many of you here have had her rock your baby to sleep or given them five too many cookies. This was her joy.

I would like to share with you a few memories that truly illustrate Marcy’s love for life and others, and that made up some of her best days:Rick and Marcy enjoyed many vacations with dear friends. Late nights filled with laughter while vacationing with Hilton & Cindy Stinson will be cherished forever.As many of you know, next to family and friends, Marcy’s greatest passion was the University of Texas Longhorns. Her screams during football games could be heard across the county. We would be hard pressed to find another fan as dedicated as sweet Marcy. Which brings me to a fond memory that Rick shared with me last week: Rick and Marcy were on vacation with Chris Schuchart and Vivan Torres. It was right after the Longhorns had won the National Championship, and the couples were riding in the car together. It is still unknown if this was done intentionally or not, but every time Marcy’s phone would ring, “The Eyes of Texas” was played loud and clear for all to hear. Rick shares that he wasn’t sure if Chris was going to jump out of the moving car or not. Also, still unknown if it was intentional, Allison made sure to call her mom several times that day.

Mom loved to hunt and fish, and was remarkably talented in both areas. She would have given many of the men in this room a run for their money when comparing hunting stories. Joyful days spent at the deer lease with the Wurzbach’s, Heath’s, and Stinson’s remain unforgettable.

Since we’re in church, we feel that we should confess something for Marcy. She was addicted to scratch off lottery tickets. However, we’re not certain God didn’t approve of this as she routinely won and won big!

Personally, I owe so much to Marcy. She raised two incredible children who are compassionate, successful, and strong Christians and serve as excellent and loving role models to our children.  She raised the man of my dreams, and for that, I am forever grateful. Raising your children to be such wonderful people doesn’t just happen on accident. She was an incredible mother and if I can just be half the mother she was, I will consider myself fortunate. Allison and Nathan were her pride and joy, and I am confident that she will rest easy with a pride filled heart as she watches over them.

The hardest thing for us is to imagine life without her.  I wish we would have paid more attention to how she cooked certain things, so we apologize in advance to those of you who come to the Tondre annual fish fry. This year’s cole slaw may not be the best ever now that we’re in charge, but we will continue the party like she would have wanted. And speaking of fish fry, that party is the definition of the Tondre family. We love to be with friends and family more than anything. Mom especially enjoyed having a drink and visiting with friends. Many of you share in these memories and I am sure can recall one as we speak today. These special celebrations of being together are evidenced by all you gathering here to honor her.

It’s times like these where people wonder “Where is God?” But we know where God is. I see him every time I look at my daughter’s face and know that I was extremely blessed that Mom was by my side when Taytum came into this world. That was an unforgettable gift that I will cherish always.

I saw God last week in the hospital when Marcy could barely speak but was able to open her eyes and say “hey buddy” to Brooks. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life.

We see God as we look around this church today. The out pouring of love from this community has been both heartwarming and comforting. It is not an exaggeration to say that Mom received hundreds of cards while she was sick. People have called constantly offering to help in any way they could. These are selfless acts of love. We thank you for that.

We read in John 14:1-3 (NIV) “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in  me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told  you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me, that you also may be where I am.” We find comfort in these words, and know that Heaven has gained a beautiful angel that will watch over us.

We have also prayed hard and know that God has already set up all of Heaven’s TVs with the Longhorn network, just as she would have wanted. As this is such a somber occasion, we would like to do something that we know would make Mom smile, and we just couldn’t think of a better way than to have everyone, even you Aggies, show some Longhorn pride. So, today, when we gather at the cemetery, we invite you to join us by putting your horns up as we will listen to “The Eyes of Texas” in honor of our very favorite and fallen Longhorn.

We would like to thank you for letting us take the time to share with you this morning. We recognize that we have included a some silly jokes, but that is a testament to how our mom lived her life. Always positive, always smiling, always laughing… May we always remember her in this way.

How do people do this??

I started a post about a month ago and never finished it. It’s funny to look back now and see how much things have changed in a month… and really since she was born. Last month I was totally exhausted and overwhelmed. I think I can change that feeling from “totally” to “moderately.” As a new working mom I’m just guessing that the overwhelmed feeling never goes away. T is sleeping through the night most nights so that is a huge improvement. Even if she does wake up, she can take down a bottle in less than 15 minutes and will go straight back to sleep. The times when she wakes up between 4 and 5 are probably the worst because I don’t have time to go back to sleep. But it’s still not bad as far as 4 month olds are concerned.

She really is a great baby! The only time she cries is if she’s hungry or tired. There’s the occasional fussing because she just wants to be loved on more but daddy has recently found that she LOVES the Jeep carrier. At least with that she is happy and I can get things done around the house so it’s currently a win-win! And she’s just so giggly now, talk about pure happiness. All I have to do is sing a little song and she’s cracking up and smiling all over the place… possibly because of my horrible voice?

The days just fly by because I’m always swamped at work. Which is good and bad I guess. I’m not taking any work home (yet) so that’s good! The following is the only thing I kept from my previously unfinished post from last month. I’m still baffled by working moms so I’ll still post that……I seriously don’t know how people do this… and we only have ONE kid! I’m going to need a lot more prayers once we have more. I guess I could give up running and then I’d have more time BUT I’d be miserable in other ways. I consider myself a pretty darned organized person and I feel like I’m barely making it day to day. Seriously, how do people do this? Or rather how do they have time to love on their kids and keep the house clean, the clothes washed, dinner cooked (ok so I don’t do this one), grass mowed (daddy job), and on and on.  I am very well aware that I will need an oil change and I’m passed due for a tire rotation… when am I supposed to do this stuff? I guess on a Saturday, or after working all day but neither of those options sound appealing. Currently I guess I trade the time it takes to cook something for snuggling with my family… but I’m not going to be able to do this forever. Eventually she’s going to want a real meal and then I guess I’m in trouble.  We’ll cross that bridge when we get there!

At the end of school each day I go give my hands one last scrubbin with soap before I head to pick up Tay… and it’s the greatest feeling to think of her little face, and that one little dimple (not two) and that I’m going to see her soon!