Marcia Tondre Memorial Little Alsace Turkey Trot

The Tondre/ Welch family has big news and it involves changes for the 2015 Turkey Trot. Same day, same place, same time…. But bigger, better, and for a cause. The race will now be in honor of my mom who recently passed away from cancer. All profits will go to a scholarship fund for a Medina Valley student that will be going into some area within the medical field. We plan to have online registration, t-shirts, swag bags, chip timing, awards, etc. And as always we will conclude the festivities with a celebratory thanksgiving beverage. We have a lot of planning to do before then! If anyone would like to volunteer to help plan or at the race that would be greatly appreciated. We will also be looking for sponsors if anyone is interested in donating. Keep an eye out for updates… I will put together a meeting in March for anyone that is interested in helping in any way. Start planning your Thanksgiving now and make sure you’re around for the “Marcia Tondre Memorial Little Alsace Turkey Trot.”   

What I’ve learned over 47 days of knowing Cancer and 36 days without my mom

A good family can get you through anything. My brother, sister-in-law and I were already thick as thieves, but the extended family, all the aunts and uncles that have stepped up to help or even just been there for us is truly heartwarming and comforting. My grandmother has written every thank you letter, all two hundred-and-something of them… I didn’t even know you were supposed to write thank you letters. There’s a lot I didn’t know about what’s involved in a funeral.  Now I know too much.

 

Friends that act like family are gold. I can’t say enough about all of our friends who have reached out. I really can’t, there aren’t words to express the kind of appreciation you have for those who selflessly love you and are there for you in a time of need.

As hard as it is, be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Tell your family your last wishes. For some reason this has always been something I’ve personally been very vocal about. And because of that I felt like I had an idea of what my mom wanted from previous conversations. I personally want to be cremated. I have no desire for my body to spend it’s eternity in an overpriced box. I realize this is important to some people, I’m just not one of them. Morgan has said she wants a leopard box with a purple bow. How perfect is that? I also don’t want people looking at me. Again, I realize this is something some people need, especially the older generation, but it’s not what I want. I want to be remembered how I was.

Don’t hesitate. Don’t put off going to the doctor for questionable pain. Don’t wait for doctors to call you. Don’t wait for anything. Be a pain in the ass! But then say thank you, and give hugs, and tell the staff how much you appreciate them. You only get one chance to beat this.

Write everything down. It gets really confusing which doctor said what and even what all the doctor’s names are. And when things are hard to hear not everyone hears the same things. Save yourself some arguing and write down everything that happens in a note book. You’ll be glad you had it later.  

Pray like there’s no tomorrow. Because there may not be. Many days I prayed “I don’t know what to pray for” but God knows your heart. I pray with Taytum every night when I put her to bed and know that mom is there with us. I look forward to the day when she’s old enough to pray about what she wants to. Brooks’ prayers are priceless and so innocent and so sweet. “Thank God for Gran, and milk, and muscles.” Yes Brooks, thank God for muscles! And sweet babies!

Cancer sucks! When all this started I think that was the best thing anyone could have told me. A friend of my mom’s hugged me tight and said “this just sucks.” And it’s so true.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up. People keep telling me I’m brave or strong. I feel just the opposite. Now that she’s gone I have no choice. I have to do things that no one else is going to do. Or I have to do the things that she did because she can’t do them now. She kept their house stocked with diapers and wipes. Those stocks are coming to an end. My daughter was nearly 6 months old before I personally had to buy her pajamas. Gran did that. Like magic she would appear with new pajamas right before they were needed. Were we spoiled or what? Spoiled with a great grandma, absolutely! But each of us knew exactly how great she was. And she knew we appreciated her. I have told the pajama story before. And a friend of the family showed up at the funeral with pajamas for Tay. If the tables were turned mom would have done that. And I know she’s watching all of us and appreciating all the kind things everyone has done to care for us.

Call the ones you love! Not being able to talk to someone you love is an ache that I’m not sure will ever go away. I talked to my mom on the phone ALL THE TIME. Sometimes I’d call with a purpose, sometimes not. And just wanting to talk to her, just because, is really the worst now. So often, I’m just a crazy person and talk to her anyway.

I don’t know why. Why her? Why so young? Why did she have to suffer? I don’t know why God choose to take her and he spares others. She was such an amazing grandmother and it pains me to think our children won’t have her in their lives. I know God has a reason, and that’s not comforting to me right now, but I’m not angry about it either.

I don’t really have a conclusion for this blog except that I’ve learned a lot of hard things in a very short amount of time. And I hope you don’t have to go through this any time soon but when you do, that I can be there for you.

Tribute to mom

As many of you know my dear sweet mother passed away on Monday. We are devastated and these have been the worst 47 days of our lives. We are thankful that the good Lord ended her pain but will forever miss her. Below is the tribute Morgan and I wrote together and said at the funeral yesterday for those of you who weren't able to be there. The parts in bold were what I said.

Let us begin by thanking you all for coming to help us celebrate Marcy’s life and share our grief at her passing. Alli and I wrote this together and today we’re speaking on behalf of our family.

We are standing before you today with broken hearts, but we wanted to be the ones to give her tribute because she is our mother… the best mother we could have ever asked for.

Marcia “Marcy” Lea Mueller Tondre, age 58, of Castroville, passed away Dec. 8, 2014 in San Antonio. Marcy was born February 22, 1956 in Hondo to Hilmer E. Mueller and Georgia Ann Rietzer Mueller Pope. Marcy is preceded in death by her father and her step-father, Elmo Pope. She was a 1974 graduate of Hondo High School. In 1978 she graduated from UT Austin with a BS in Pharmacy. She was a pharmacist and managed the local Walmart pharmacy for 17 years. On September 2, 1978 she married Rick Tondre at St. Louis Catholic Church. Survivors include her husband, Rick Tondre; daughter and son-in-law, Allison and Jim Cody Welch ; son and daughter-in-law, Nathan and Morgan Tondre ; grandchildren, Brooks Tondre and Taytum Welch; mother, Georgia Ann Pope; brother and his wife, Steve and Kim Mueller; sister and her husband, Rebecca and Mike Hackebeil; in-laws, Paul and Sandra Tondre, Pat and Carol Tondre, and Col. Charles and Nancy Persyn, Tim and Yvonne Haegelin; numerous nieces, nephews and other relatives.

My name is Morgan Tondre, and I am Marcy’s daughter-in-law. We never really liked the phrase “in law” though, as Marcy treated me as her own from the day I first met her. Truly, that’s how she approached everyone she met, with love & kindness.

During my MOH speech at my sister Alli’s wedding, I said that marrying into the Tondre family is just like winning the lottery, and that’s truly how I feel. It says a lot when we would rather spend at Saturday night together than doing anything else. There is never a dull moment, and always so much fun to be had… which in great part was because of our mom. With the same open arms Marcy embraced her family with, she also embraced the community. Marcy lived her life to help others. I’m not sure she knew any other way. By offering advice, comfort, encouragement, and hugs, Marcy served as the rock of our family. It didn’t matter if it was 2 in the morning, and we were having trouble soothing a colicky baby, she was always a phone call away and would come running to help (& goodness knows we needed all the help we could get)!

Mom was the most amazing Gran we could have ever asked for. Our children  were blessed by having had her love, even though it was only for a short while. Gran and Pop were absolutely unapologetic in how much they loved being a grandparent, even more than being parents.

The day that the Lord called her home, Brooks spent the morning yelling “hook‘em horns” as he ran through the hallways in our home. I would bet that this most certainly would have made her smile.

Not only was she an devoted mother and grandmother to her own children, she embraced our friends as family as well. I affectionately referred to Gran as the “great baby snatcher.” If you went to a party and saw my mother, she would most certainly steal your child for the night. I’m sure many of you here have had her rock your baby to sleep or given them five too many cookies. This was her joy.

I would like to share with you a few memories that truly illustrate Marcy’s love for life and others, and that made up some of her best days:Rick and Marcy enjoyed many vacations with dear friends. Late nights filled with laughter while vacationing with Hilton & Cindy Stinson will be cherished forever.As many of you know, next to family and friends, Marcy’s greatest passion was the University of Texas Longhorns. Her screams during football games could be heard across the county. We would be hard pressed to find another fan as dedicated as sweet Marcy. Which brings me to a fond memory that Rick shared with me last week: Rick and Marcy were on vacation with Chris Schuchart and Vivan Torres. It was right after the Longhorns had won the National Championship, and the couples were riding in the car together. It is still unknown if this was done intentionally or not, but every time Marcy’s phone would ring, “The Eyes of Texas” was played loud and clear for all to hear. Rick shares that he wasn’t sure if Chris was going to jump out of the moving car or not. Also, still unknown if it was intentional, Allison made sure to call her mom several times that day.

Mom loved to hunt and fish, and was remarkably talented in both areas. She would have given many of the men in this room a run for their money when comparing hunting stories. Joyful days spent at the deer lease with the Wurzbach’s, Heath’s, and Stinson’s remain unforgettable.

Since we’re in church, we feel that we should confess something for Marcy. She was addicted to scratch off lottery tickets. However, we’re not certain God didn’t approve of this as she routinely won and won big!

Personally, I owe so much to Marcy. She raised two incredible children who are compassionate, successful, and strong Christians and serve as excellent and loving role models to our children.  She raised the man of my dreams, and for that, I am forever grateful. Raising your children to be such wonderful people doesn’t just happen on accident. She was an incredible mother and if I can just be half the mother she was, I will consider myself fortunate. Allison and Nathan were her pride and joy, and I am confident that she will rest easy with a pride filled heart as she watches over them.

The hardest thing for us is to imagine life without her.  I wish we would have paid more attention to how she cooked certain things, so we apologize in advance to those of you who come to the Tondre annual fish fry. This year’s cole slaw may not be the best ever now that we’re in charge, but we will continue the party like she would have wanted. And speaking of fish fry, that party is the definition of the Tondre family. We love to be with friends and family more than anything. Mom especially enjoyed having a drink and visiting with friends. Many of you share in these memories and I am sure can recall one as we speak today. These special celebrations of being together are evidenced by all you gathering here to honor her.

It’s times like these where people wonder “Where is God?” But we know where God is. I see him every time I look at my daughter’s face and know that I was extremely blessed that Mom was by my side when Taytum came into this world. That was an unforgettable gift that I will cherish always.

I saw God last week in the hospital when Marcy could barely speak but was able to open her eyes and say “hey buddy” to Brooks. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life.

We see God as we look around this church today. The out pouring of love from this community has been both heartwarming and comforting. It is not an exaggeration to say that Mom received hundreds of cards while she was sick. People have called constantly offering to help in any way they could. These are selfless acts of love. We thank you for that.

We read in John 14:1-3 (NIV) “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in  me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told  you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me, that you also may be where I am.” We find comfort in these words, and know that Heaven has gained a beautiful angel that will watch over us.

We have also prayed hard and know that God has already set up all of Heaven’s TVs with the Longhorn network, just as she would have wanted. As this is such a somber occasion, we would like to do something that we know would make Mom smile, and we just couldn’t think of a better way than to have everyone, even you Aggies, show some Longhorn pride. So, today, when we gather at the cemetery, we invite you to join us by putting your horns up as we will listen to “The Eyes of Texas” in honor of our very favorite and fallen Longhorn.

We would like to thank you for letting us take the time to share with you this morning. We recognize that we have included a some silly jokes, but that is a testament to how our mom lived her life. Always positive, always smiling, always laughing… May we always remember her in this way.

How do people do this??

I started a post about a month ago and never finished it. It’s funny to look back now and see how much things have changed in a month… and really since she was born. Last month I was totally exhausted and overwhelmed. I think I can change that feeling from “totally” to “moderately.” As a new working mom I’m just guessing that the overwhelmed feeling never goes away. T is sleeping through the night most nights so that is a huge improvement. Even if she does wake up, she can take down a bottle in less than 15 minutes and will go straight back to sleep. The times when she wakes up between 4 and 5 are probably the worst because I don’t have time to go back to sleep. But it’s still not bad as far as 4 month olds are concerned.

She really is a great baby! The only time she cries is if she’s hungry or tired. There’s the occasional fussing because she just wants to be loved on more but daddy has recently found that she LOVES the Jeep carrier. At least with that she is happy and I can get things done around the house so it’s currently a win-win! And she’s just so giggly now, talk about pure happiness. All I have to do is sing a little song and she’s cracking up and smiling all over the place… possibly because of my horrible voice?

The days just fly by because I’m always swamped at work. Which is good and bad I guess. I’m not taking any work home (yet) so that’s good! The following is the only thing I kept from my previously unfinished post from last month. I’m still baffled by working moms so I’ll still post that……I seriously don’t know how people do this… and we only have ONE kid! I’m going to need a lot more prayers once we have more. I guess I could give up running and then I’d have more time BUT I’d be miserable in other ways. I consider myself a pretty darned organized person and I feel like I’m barely making it day to day. Seriously, how do people do this? Or rather how do they have time to love on their kids and keep the house clean, the clothes washed, dinner cooked (ok so I don’t do this one), grass mowed (daddy job), and on and on.  I am very well aware that I will need an oil change and I’m passed due for a tire rotation… when am I supposed to do this stuff? I guess on a Saturday, or after working all day but neither of those options sound appealing. Currently I guess I trade the time it takes to cook something for snuggling with my family… but I’m not going to be able to do this forever. Eventually she’s going to want a real meal and then I guess I’m in trouble.  We’ll cross that bridge when we get there!

At the end of school each day I go give my hands one last scrubbin with soap before I head to pick up Tay… and it’s the greatest feeling to think of her little face, and that one little dimple (not two) and that I’m going to see her soon!

The family that runs together...

Most families sit down to dinner together. Not us. We go on family runs. I always really wanted us to have that family dinner time and maybe someday we’ll get there but for now it’s not working out that way. Jim and I enjoy running too much to give it up. To be honest, I haven’t cooked a meal, beside when people have been over, since before Taytum was born. That probably makes me a bad wife. But then again I don’t have a husband that cares about having a big meal every night. Nor do I. We would rather go for a run so for now this works for us.

This week we finally got back up to 6 miles! This used to be a normal nightly run mileage for us but we’re a little out of running shape. Poor Jim works way harder than I do because he pushes the jogging stroller. Thank goodness for that thing! But a 10 pound baby plus the weight of the car seat and adapter is nothing to joke about. And also thankfully Taytum likes the stroller. I’d say she’s been pushed on over 100 miles since she was born. And yes, I realize you’re not “supposed” to push a baby in the stroller until they are older and have control of their head. Trust me, we aren’t going fast! We also stay on smooth surfaces and watch out for bumps in the road. She jostles around more when we are driving on a country road! Are people who live on bumpy roads discouraged from taking their babies on drives? I think not. I also rolled up a towel and put it around her head to make it more stable. I personally think she has good control of her neck for her age because of that but in reality she’s probably just normal.  I may be a bad mom for pushing her in a stroller so early… add it to the list. I’m sure it won’t be the last thing I’m judged for.

Over all I want our running to make an impression on T. I want her to have a competitive spirit. I want her to learn how to live a healthy life style and love being outdoors. She doesn’t have to want to run necessarily but if she doesn’t want to be an athlete I think it will crush me!

Workin on my Fitness

Thank you to everyone who sent messages and commented on the breast feeding blog. All the support and suggestions are MUCH appreciated.

I thought I’d devote this blog to something I know much more about and that I feel in control of! I’ve always been an athlete and worked out. I started running long distance about 5 years ago. I enjoyed the competition with myself to run faster and longer each time and it really became addictive. Before getting pregnant I ran 6-9 miles 3 times per week. I would also swim and/ or go to the gym 3 other days of the week. I logged more miles when I was training for a race but had cut back when we were trying to get pregnant. I had really wanted to continue running all through my pregnancy but that proved to be much more difficult than I had anticipated.

I spent a lot of time researching running, fitness, and nutrition while pregnant. I was determined to keep my weight gain minimal yet healthy for our growing baby. I think that’s my main reason for writing this blog… to let women know it IS possible to keep working out or at least continue to be active AND get your body back after baby. I had REALLY wanted to be like the women whose blogs I had read that kept running throughout their pregnancies. While this didn’t work out for me I was still active at least 6 days per week. Since running and working out is a stress reliever for me I really needed, not just wanted, to continue my routine for my own well-being. Swimming was my saving grace and I swam multiple times each week all the way up to the end. It felt so good to be weightless in the pool and stretch out all the aches and pains.

I set my goal at gaining 25- 35 pounds. I downloaded a nutrition ap that tracked everything I ate and calculated the calories I burned during work outs. This allowed me to make sure I was getting what my body needed in addition to accounting for the calories I would need to make up for those lost during work outs. I found a base number of calories suggested for a person my size during each trimester and made that my daily goal. I already split my diet into 4 meals; breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack(s) so I continued that. I have never been one of those people who can live on three meals a day…. I literally eat every 1-2 hours.

I also made sure that I got at least 70 grams of protein each day. This was the biggest change to my diet since I’m not a huge meat eater. I was surprised that the normal amount of yogurt, cheese, and protein shake that I ate accounted for a good portion of that. Luckily during pregnancy one of the things I really craved was chicken and red meat so I easily hit the protein goal each day. Other than that, I literally ate whatever I wanted. Chicken strips were a main staple as well as lucky charms and ice cream. The key is portion control. I would get a chicken strip basket, including fries, and eat half of it. The other half I would save for the next day. Just FYI the Bill Millers chicken strip basket is over 1200 calories. That is way more than the average person needs to consume during one sitting. And I’m not kidding when I say I had ice cream every night! I would find that I needed more calories to hit my goal and a cup of ice cream would fit that nicely.
I ended up gaining 20 pounds. Half of that was during the first trimester when I felt horrible and nothing but random junk food sounded good to me. The majority of the rest was during the third trimester when T was doing her biggest amount of growing. I did not ever feel hungry and I did not deprive myself. In fact, towards the end I would get full very quickly and ate more small meals instead.

Taytum weighed 6 pounds at birth and then there’s the placenta and all the fluids you lose during delivery so by the time we came home from the hospital I had already lost 10 pounds. Don’t hate me but the next 6 pounds flew off within 2 weeks. Due to breast feeding maybe? Those last 4 pounds have been stubborn though. That could possibly be due to my new addiction to ice cream and the fact that I like to have a beer or glass of wine now and again. After week three I broke it to my husband that the ice cream would have to go. I have no self-control when it’s in the freezer. I’m looking into lower cal options and will report back on that shortly!

Even though I’m close to my pre-pregnancy weight, everything looks much different than it did before.  The doctor released me back to normal activity as soon as I left the hospital and felt up to it so I started walking right away. I added intervals of very slow jogging at week 2. I can now run 3 miles without stopping but it’s not easy or pretty. My goal is to get back to running half marathons but right now that’s looking like a far off goal. The Texas heat certainly isn’t helping me out in this department either. I can’t wait to get back to swimming and cycling but I’m waiting until after my 6 week check up for that. I’m hoping that adding the different activities and boosting intensity will help me get somewhere back to where I was.

 2 weeks postpartum

 

I ultimately hope that our active life style will rub off on our daughter and she will love running and have a competitive nature like we do.

Month 1 Struggles

Taytum came into this world a month ago and our lives have changed so much! I obviously knew this was going to happen but I guess you’ll never know what it’s like until you go through it. WARNING… If you don’t care to hear about the details of breast feeding… this particular blog instalment is not for you.

I think the most difficult part for me has been breast feeding. In hindsight, I should have taken the breastfeeding class offered by the hospital but I really didn’t think it would be this difficult. If you are pregnant I strongly suggest that you go to this class! Taytum is getting better but she is a finicky eater to say the least. In the beginning she wouldn’t latch and it was very stressful trying to feed her. I’m not being dramatic when I say she would look at my boob and shake her head like a possessed little baby. I say that with all the love in my heart. We had the lactation consultants come in to help and they literally had me hand expressing and feeing her like a little bird with a syringe. I still call her “little bird” because of that experience. At some point in the week 1 frustration I had the brilliant idea to try a nipple shield and that helped a ton.

Mainly, I think she’s just a lazy eater. She nurses herself to sleep and isn’t really sucking. So at week two I started supplementing with pumped breast milk because I was terrified that she was too little and not gaining enough weight. That resulted in an 11 ounce weight gain in one week BUT it also just about sent me over the edge. I’d nurse her for 20- 30 minutes, feed from a bottle, and then pump. Then an hour later it’s time to start the process all over again. Talk about losing your mind. It was also stressing me out to think about going places with her and planning out her feedings. So when the doctor acknowledged my concerns and said supplementing with formula would be fine if it was going to save me from going nuts I jumped on it. Now I’m supplementing with formula after she nurses and the last feeding before bedtime is formula that daddy gives T! Supposedly formula takes longer to digest so the hope was that she would give me a larger chunk of sleeping time before the first nighttime feeding…. I haven’t noticed a big difference there. The addition of formula IS allowing me to save more pumped breast milk and start a supply to give T once I go back to work. That’s a big plus for me… I just have to deal with the mommy guilt. And I swear now it’s like those “breast milk is best” commercials follow me no matter what I’m watching! My husband seems to think the formula (which is the closest to breast milk that they make) gives her gas. This was like a knife to my heart. Am I saving myself some sanity by making my sweet girl uncomfortable in the process? I don’t notice a difference in her behavior so I’m sticking with it.

I think I’ve decided that I’m sticking with all this until I go back to work. I’ll pump and continue as long as I can but if I start to lose my mind over it I’m throwing in the towel. I’ve had plenty of moms fess up that they or their children were formula fed and still turned out normal.

Month 1 positives- Baby girl is above her birth weight and still gaining… and goodness is she cute!